The Day A Goat Rode "Shotgun"

It was a late spring afternoon leading up to Easter. We were living on a hundred acre farm in a little house on a hill. We rented two of the acres including the house, while the remaining acreage was rented by farmers for cash crops. The neighbour to the north had a hundred acre farm with cattle and a dog kennel business. The neighbour across the road had an estate home on a large acreage with a horse barn and arena for English riding. The property to the south had been subdivided into four with a shared access to a private airstrip.

Two of my children were at school, while the youngest was having his afternoon nap. I was sitting in the living room when I thought I heard an animal’s cry. I opened up the front door, which we rarely used, and stepped out onto the concrete porch. I looked around, but could not see anything so I went back inside. A few minutes later I heard the sound again, but it now sounded like “baa”. I thought it was a lamb, but again there was none in sight. As I was standing on the porch I heard the cry again and it sounded like it was coming from under the porch! I went inside; got a flashlight; went back outside and looked under the porch where I saw a young goat! I was very surprised at my discovery since none of my immediate neighbours had goats!

I had hoped that I could wait until my husband came home from work since he would be able to get the goat out and take it somewhere. I was spurred to action when the young goat’s cries had become more frequent and plaintive. I remembered that there was an abattoir just down the road from us. I thought that maybe this goat had escaped from there since they would be preparing goats for Easter. I called the abattoir and explained my predicament and they said they would be right over.

I expected them to come in a pickup truck and put the goat in the cargo area. Instead they came in a large older model two-door car. One of the men moved the concrete step while the other reached in to grab the young goat. He then proceeded to walk the goat back to the car; holding its front foot in each hand, causing it to walk on its two hind feet. He then sat in the front passenger seat with the goat between his legs, still holding onto its front two feet. That was the first and only time that I saw a goat ride "shotgun"!

Trading Places?

With whom would I want to trade places? That was the April assignment for the Christian writers' group that I belong to. It could be anyone, living or dead; real or fictional. At first my mind went blank. If I had been given that assignment a few years ago, I would have had no problem coming up with multiple people, real or fictional, with whom I would have gladly traded places.

When I considered a temporary trading of places, two Mary's, from the Bible, came to mind. I would love to sit where Mary of Bethany sat, at the feet of Jesus. I have wondered what He said that captured her attention and devotion. To be the first person that Jesus appeared to after His resurrection; and to hear Him say my name with such tenderness and love, I would gladly trade places with Mary Magdalene for that experience.

I also thought about trading places with my younger self, so that I would be able to live my life in a greater level of freedom from an earlier age. I wondered what joys I could experience, had I known then who God created me to be. I no longer bemoan the past. I treasure the things God has taught me throughout my whole life; I would not trade places with anyone!

Yard Work

This morning, it was a bright sunny day that beckoned me outside. There were hundreds, if not thousands, of fir cones on our front lawn. We have a large fir tree that stands in the middle of the front lawn. It provides shade and privacy, as well as shelter for many species of birds.

I decided that I would clean up the front lawn since the grass would soon be growing. I raked the fir cones into piles and then put them in a wheelbarrow, which I then dumped in a corner of the backyard. As I was doing the various actions I was reminded of the corresponding motions I use on the exercise machines at Curves. I was glad that I had been strengthening different muscles so that I was able to do this yard work.

I worked steadily, remembering to drink some water from time to time. I also made sure that I bent my knees instead of my back when picking up the cone piles. I did "make a dent" in the amount of cones on the lawn, but I was starting to get tired; I had been working for an hour. I knew that I had reached my limit so I decided that I would rake the remainder of the fir cones another time.

Taking Off The Grave Clothes

Last night my husband Dan and I had attended a prayer meeting at our church. At the end of the prayer time when we were asked if we had anything we wanted prayer for, I said that I did. I shared with my group how it felt like I had something on me that I could not break free from as a result of having had cancer and surviving it. I was directed to a scripture that spoke of putting off the old and putting on the new. I personalized that passage and expressed my desires for freedom in a prayer. Then my husband Dan, as my spiritual authority, prayed for me.

Later that night I could not fall asleep. I tossed and turned; and thought and prayed. Finally at 1:00 am, I decided to get up and write down the thought that had come to mind: "I have taken off the grave clothes". I wanted to search the scriptures to see where there was any reference to grave clothes in the Bible.

The incident of Lazarus being raised from the dead and needing his grave clothes removed is recorded in John 11:44: "The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen and a cloth around his face. Jesus said to them, 'Take off the grave clothes and let him go'". (NIV)

I then searched the word 'grave' to see if there was a scripture that I could apply to my life regarding this word. In Psalm 49:15, the psalmist writes: "But God will redeem my life from the grave; he will surely take me to himself". (NIV)

There was a cross reference to Psalm 56:13 which states: "For you have delivered me from death and my feet from stumbling that I may walk before God in the light of life." (NIV)

I decided to look up the scripture references to the phrase "the light of life" which is translated "the land of the living" in the following two references.

"Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you. For you, O Lord, have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before the Lord in the land of the living." Psalm 116:7-9 (NIV)

"I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord". Psalm 27:13, 14 (NIV)

I believe that the thought that came to mind in the middle of the night, "I have taken off the grave clothes" was a direct answer to those prayers for me.

Not Recognized

Yesterday I was at a funeral for the founder of my husband's place of employment, where he has worked for almost twenty years. I saw some of Dan's co-workers there that I knew, but they did not recognize me or acknowledge me. They were used to seeing me how I looked before I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. I did approach one of them, who is also the wife of a close colleague of Dan's. While she expressed surprise and hadn't recognized me, she also said it was good to see me. I could have gone to Dan's workplace for the reception afterwards, but I chose not to. Dan would not have been able to devote his time to stay by my side and re-introduce me to every colleague or client that I knew. It would have been too emotionally taxing for me to have to do this myself.

I am now used to how I look with short curly hair, but many people do not recognize me. I think that this reaction would not affect me to the degree that it does if I had only just cut my hair or permed it. Going through the experience of losing all of my hair and then having it grow in curly has been traumatic for me. I have tried to remain positive about this change, but it has had far greater consequences that I was not prepared for.

Processing

I have not blogged recently because I have been processing a lot of what I have been through with having overcome ovarian cancer last year. Two weeks ago I had my routine follow-up appointment with my oncologist. My CA 125 blood count is well within the normal range and there is no change with my lymph nodes or abdomen. At the end of this month it will have been one year since I had my last chemotherapy treatment. Therefore, I won't need to see the oncologist until six months later instead of the previous schedule of every three months. This was cause for rejoicing and it brought much relief to my family, our friends, and me.

I am a small group discussion leader for the new Bible study on the book of Esther. Often I am in awe of God's timing in how the Bible studies I am involved in are so appropriate to what I am going through in my life. Last week during our discussion time about our responses to the world's standards of beauty, someone mentioned that it must have been hard for me when I had lost my hair. I was able to share some of my feelings about the trauma of having no eyelashes or eyebrows and being completely bald. When I got home from the study I was so exhausted that I had a nap; it took a lot out of me emotionally. I know that God wants to heal my emotions and I believe that He is using this study as part of that process.

Tickled Pink!

This morning, as I was deciding what to wear today, I thought "I feel pink today". I chose my pink turtleneck top; pink earrings; and grey socks with pink polka dots. As I looked at myself in the mirror, taking in my overall appearance including my nail polish, I thought "I am perfectly content with how I look; I am tickled pink!".

I decided to look up the meaning of the phrase "tickled pink: thoroughly delighted or amused; elated" and I saw it was indeed appropriate. I have been transformed; it is like an extreme makeover, yet much of it has been gradual. I now wear earrings on a regular basis. My hair is now short and curly; that is how it has come in after the chemo. I have a membership at Curves and I am now doing two circuits. I have noticed a difference as my muscle strength has increased and I have lost inches.

I am also occasionally wearing nail polish on my fingernails. That may sound either frivolous or ordinary, but it is another form of restoration of my self-expression. When I was a young teenager I was given nail polish by a family friend, who was a salesman. It was a collection in every colour and shade; from yellow, orange, blue, green, to pink, purple, red, black and white. There were probably twenty colours in all. I would co-ordinate my nail colour with what I was wearing.

I know that God has restored my self-expression that was buried so many years ago; that is why I can say that I am "tickled pink!".