Be Faithful

"Be faithful. Don't compare yourself with the efforts of others." God spoke these words to my heart. It is easy for me to get discouraged if I compare myself with others who are more gifted than me in certain areas. In some areas of my life I have been given a lot, while in other areas I have only been given a little. I need to be faithful to use the "little", as well as be faithful to use the "lot".

These are the words that came to mind when I thought about what it means to be faithful.

Fervent
Available
Involved
Truthful
Holy
Focused
Undivided
Loving

"Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much." Luke 16:10 (NIV)

Mementos of Hope

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life." Proverbs 13:12 (NIV)

Recently, I noticed again the many mementos of "Hope" that others had given me while I was undergoing treatment for ovarian cancer. My mind went back to the times when hope was needed to carry me through and to continue trusting in God for healing.

My sisters had designed a beige baseball cap with the word "Hope" embroidered on it for the first "mini-walk of hope" they had organized. The "O" is a stylized sunflower, which is the symbol of Ovarian Cancer Canada. http://www.ovariancanada.org/ I now wear this hat when I do yard work.

At the suggestion of a blog reader, my sisters had contacted "The Lydia Project" and arranged for them to send me one of their bags. Mine is a small fabric bag with the word "Hope" embroidered on it. It contained many items including words of hope and encouragement. http://www.thelydiaproject.org/ I now use this bag to carry my shoes and water bottle to "Curves".

A friend gave me an angel figurine by "Eden's Angels" called "Hope"; her arms are folded against her chest as in prayer. I have this figurine displayed in my living room along with another angel called "Freedom", which she gave me the day after I finished my treatments.

I have a white t-shirt with the word Hope on it, which was from the first "mini-walk of hope" that my sisters had organized. I also have a yellow t-shirt with the same symbol on it from last year's "mini-walk of hope". I now wear these t-shirts when I exercise at "Curves".

When I was again hospitalized this past fall, my sister gave me her "Hope" word sculpture. My sisters again hoped for healing and this represented their hope for me. I now have that sculpture displayed in my living room.

I am thankful for these mementos of "Hope" for they act as reminders of the faithfulness of God.

"What is faith? It is the confident assurance that what we hope for is going to happen. It is the evidence of things we cannot yet see." Hebrews 11:1 (NLT)

The Day A Goat Rode "Shotgun"

It was a late spring afternoon leading up to Easter. We were living on a hundred acre farm in a little house on a hill. We rented two of the acres including the house, while the remaining acreage was rented by farmers for cash crops. The neighbour to the north had a hundred acre farm with cattle and a dog kennel business. The neighbour across the road had an estate home on a large acreage with a horse barn and arena for English riding. The property to the south had been subdivided into four with a shared access to a private airstrip.

Two of my children were at school, while the youngest was having his afternoon nap. I was sitting in the living room when I thought I heard an animal’s cry. I opened up the front door, which we rarely used, and stepped out onto the concrete porch. I looked around, but could not see anything so I went back inside. A few minutes later I heard the sound again, but it now sounded like “baa”. I thought it was a lamb, but again there was none in sight. As I was standing on the porch I heard the cry again and it sounded like it was coming from under the porch! I went inside; got a flashlight; went back outside and looked under the porch where I saw a young goat! I was very surprised at my discovery since none of my immediate neighbours had goats!

I had hoped that I could wait until my husband came home from work since he would be able to get the goat out and take it somewhere. I was spurred to action when the young goat’s cries had become more frequent and plaintive. I remembered that there was an abattoir just down the road from us. I thought that maybe this goat had escaped from there since they would be preparing goats for Easter. I called the abattoir and explained my predicament and they said they would be right over.

I expected them to come in a pickup truck and put the goat in the cargo area. Instead they came in a large older model two-door car. One of the men moved the concrete step while the other reached in to grab the young goat. He then proceeded to walk the goat back to the car; holding its front foot in each hand, causing it to walk on its two hind feet. He then sat in the front passenger seat with the goat between his legs, still holding onto its front two feet. That was the first and only time that I saw a goat ride "shotgun"!

Trading Places?

With whom would I want to trade places? That was the April assignment for the Christian writers' group that I belong to. It could be anyone, living or dead; real or fictional. At first my mind went blank. If I had been given that assignment a few years ago, I would have had no problem coming up with multiple people, real or fictional, with whom I would have gladly traded places.

When I considered a temporary trading of places, two Mary's, from the Bible, came to mind. I would love to sit where Mary of Bethany sat, at the feet of Jesus. I have wondered what He said that captured her attention and devotion. To be the first person that Jesus appeared to after His resurrection; and to hear Him say my name with such tenderness and love, I would gladly trade places with Mary Magdalene for that experience.

I also thought about trading places with my younger self, so that I would be able to live my life in a greater level of freedom from an earlier age. I wondered what joys I could experience, had I known then who God created me to be. I no longer bemoan the past. I treasure the things God has taught me throughout my whole life; I would not trade places with anyone!

Yard Work

This morning, it was a bright sunny day that beckoned me outside. There were hundreds, if not thousands, of fir cones on our front lawn. We have a large fir tree that stands in the middle of the front lawn. It provides shade and privacy, as well as shelter for many species of birds.

I decided that I would clean up the front lawn since the grass would soon be growing. I raked the fir cones into piles and then put them in a wheelbarrow, which I then dumped in a corner of the backyard. As I was doing the various actions I was reminded of the corresponding motions I use on the exercise machines at Curves. I was glad that I had been strengthening different muscles so that I was able to do this yard work.

I worked steadily, remembering to drink some water from time to time. I also made sure that I bent my knees instead of my back when picking up the cone piles. I did "make a dent" in the amount of cones on the lawn, but I was starting to get tired; I had been working for an hour. I knew that I had reached my limit so I decided that I would rake the remainder of the fir cones another time.

Taking Off The Grave Clothes

Last night my husband Dan and I had attended a prayer meeting at our church. At the end of the prayer time when we were asked if we had anything we wanted prayer for, I said that I did. I shared with my group how it felt like I had something on me that I could not break free from as a result of having had cancer and surviving it. I was directed to a scripture that spoke of putting off the old and putting on the new. I personalized that passage and expressed my desires for freedom in a prayer. Then my husband Dan, as my spiritual authority, prayed for me.

Later that night I could not fall asleep. I tossed and turned; and thought and prayed. Finally at 1:00 am, I decided to get up and write down the thought that had come to mind: "I have taken off the grave clothes". I wanted to search the scriptures to see where there was any reference to grave clothes in the Bible.

The incident of Lazarus being raised from the dead and needing his grave clothes removed is recorded in John 11:44: "The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen and a cloth around his face. Jesus said to them, 'Take off the grave clothes and let him go'". (NIV)

I then searched the word 'grave' to see if there was a scripture that I could apply to my life regarding this word. In Psalm 49:15, the psalmist writes: "But God will redeem my life from the grave; he will surely take me to himself". (NIV)

There was a cross reference to Psalm 56:13 which states: "For you have delivered me from death and my feet from stumbling that I may walk before God in the light of life." (NIV)

I decided to look up the scripture references to the phrase "the light of life" which is translated "the land of the living" in the following two references.

"Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you. For you, O Lord, have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before the Lord in the land of the living." Psalm 116:7-9 (NIV)

"I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord". Psalm 27:13, 14 (NIV)

I believe that the thought that came to mind in the middle of the night, "I have taken off the grave clothes" was a direct answer to those prayers for me.

Not Recognized

Yesterday I was at a funeral for the founder of my husband's place of employment, where he has worked for almost twenty years. I saw some of Dan's co-workers there that I knew, but they did not recognize me or acknowledge me. They were used to seeing me how I looked before I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. I did approach one of them, who is also the wife of a close colleague of Dan's. While she expressed surprise and hadn't recognized me, she also said it was good to see me. I could have gone to Dan's workplace for the reception afterwards, but I chose not to. Dan would not have been able to devote his time to stay by my side and re-introduce me to every colleague or client that I knew. It would have been too emotionally taxing for me to have to do this myself.

I am now used to how I look with short curly hair, but many people do not recognize me. I think that this reaction would not affect me to the degree that it does if I had only just cut my hair or permed it. Going through the experience of losing all of my hair and then having it grow in curly has been traumatic for me. I have tried to remain positive about this change, but it has had far greater consequences that I was not prepared for.