Wednesday, 23 September 2015

Photos of Short Hair

To go along with my post "Short Hair - Part Two"

Short curly hair after chemo
Short wavy hair

Sunday, 13 September 2015

Short Hair - Part Two

Hair or the lack thereof is an expression of our individuality. When I was undergoing chemotherapy and my hair began to fall out I found it very traumatic. When I had finished my chemo treatments and the hair began to grow again I longed for it to grow quickly so I would look like me again. My hair grew back curly and then the curls softened into waves when my hair grew longer. I recently discovered pictures of my hair from that time and I had wondered why I had not kept it that length since I liked how it looked.

I knew that I needed a haircut and I had to do something with my hair. I felt as if the long sides were like dog’s ears just hanging there. I would often play with my hair, twisting it while I watched TV. My husband had recently suggested that I get a modern hairstyle when I told him I was considering cutting my hair. I dared to have my hair cut short because it once was this short after I had chemo.

My daughter Joy is a hairstylist and I asked her what she would do with my hair if I was a client that came in to the hair salon. I said that she has the advantage of knowing me and my desire for a low-maintenance hairstyle. Knowing that my hair has a natural wave, Joy decided to razor cut it for a softer look.  At first she left the sides a bit longer so it was more like a wedge haircut and not as drastic a change, but I didn’t like how it looked so she cut them off and blended the sides in with the back. I still had a longer bang that I parted to the side. I decided to wash my hair so that the hair would just fall naturally and to see if I wanted to keep that longer bang or to go for a shorter fringe of bangs. After looking at myself in the mirror from different angles, I decided that I would have the shorter bangs.

I had a sense of sadness when I thought why I knew I could risk cutting my hair so short. As I thought about it I remembered how important it was for me to regain a normal life after having cancer, including having the same hairstyle as before. That was the reason I didn’t keep my hair short. Now I was making a choice to have short hair rather than just coping with hair regrowth.

I feel exposed with my hair so short almost as if I had been hiding behind my same safe hairstyle. My earlobes, cheekbones and neck are now more noticeable.  I don’t feel different inside, but when I walk past a mirror I am surprised at how different I look. It is a drastic change but one that I shall embrace as Part Two in having short hair.

Wednesday, 13 May 2015

Outdoor Sounds From An Open Window

Hum of a lawnmower
Tweeting of birds
Low sound of tires spinning on pavement;
as time goes on the volume increases.
Dog barking
Road construction
Metal clinking, scraping
Sounds like a giant stapler
Loud humming like a drone
Sirens – Police? Fire?
GO train’s horn blows announcing it is coming to town
Children walking home from school – talking
A man walking a dog stops to talk with someone
 and is warned about another dog on a different street
Rain sounding like persistent dripping as it hits the eaves trough and downspout
Horn beeps as a car is locked
Beeping as a truck backs up

Thursday, 12 March 2015


The topic for this month's writers' group was "Something mysterious". I had the idea of doing an acrostic which would include something I think is a mystery for every letter of the word mysterious.

Movie genre - could be murder mystery
Y & X chromosomes – what determines the combinations?     
Spiritual rebirth – how it happens
Taste preferences – why some people like rock music while others prefer country music
Evolutionary “gaps” – if evolution is true – what about the missing links?
Recollection of memories – why we remember random memories and not others
Interpol – warning on DVD’s about prosecution by Interpol, yet who are they?
Outer space – we haven’t found the end of it, there is still much to discover
U.F.O.s – none on display at museums that I know
Sizing variations – why a size medium is not the same fit in every garment

Wednesday, 11 June 2014

Life Lessons

A phrase from a song was going over in my mind “my will to live is for You”. It is from the song You Surround Me by Brian Doerksen on the album You Shine. I was thinking how God does surround me. He gives me the will to live; and not to just live, but live for Him. The words for the song include the Gaelic words and their translation. The English phrase is “my whole will to live is for You, You’ve awakened me to know” the translation of the Gaelic is “You gave meaning and sense to my life; You’ve awakened my heart”. I can’t live “my life” without God. My life can be my physical life or all that transpires in my life.

A few years ago I celebrated my 50th birthday. I did not have any regret or anxiety to have reached such an age. I was thankful to be alive. I have been cancer-free since April 2008. I am a cancer survivor. It does not define me entirely, but it is like a frame in which the rest of what makes me “me” is displayed. I say that it is a frame because I cannot erase the past, nor undo the consequences. Yet cancer does not direct my life.

I cannot explain why God healed me and others have not been healed. I am thankful for God’s mercy, grace and compassion toward me. I was listening to a song about God showing up and I thought, “He did! He healed me!” I started to cry because I realized that I had been afraid that I would die when I was first diagnosed with cancer. It seemed like a death sentence. I even had to battle fear of dying when I went for the operation. I had such a sense of gratefulness to God for preserving my life and healing me from ovarian cancer.

I was seeking the Lord as to what my response was to be concerning a woman from our church who was on life support. I was to look to the Lord; keep my eyes on Jesus. Just like the Israelites had to look at the bronze snake on the pole. I was not to look at anyone else as a sign of God’s plan or faithfulness to me personally. I was to continue trusting God to restore me and strengthen me. She was in God’s hands. I was in God’s hands. My life does not need to impact hundreds. I only need to be faithful to God and obedient to Him. The word God gave to me is “Follow Me.” The story about Peter asking Jesus about John had come to mind. I sensed God saying to me about that woman dying – “What is that to you? “You must follow Me.”

I was again feeling burdened to do something big for God or to have “great impact on others”. A former co-host on 100 Huntley Street , was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumour. I was feeling guilty or condemned that God had healed me and what did I have to show for it? As I read an update I heard God say to me in my spirit, “Do you trust Me? I am in control”. My eyes were opened to see that I am faithful to use the gifts, talents and abilities God has given me. God does not require of me to do more or to be something that I am not. It is by God’s grace and mercy that I have been spared. I need to continue to follow Jesus, no matter what happens to anyone else who is, or seems to be, more gifted than me. God is sovereign and He has a plan for each of us individually including the fact that these women were not healed in this life. I can still thank God that He healed me, while thanking Him that these women are now with Him. It is not pride or arrogance. I have never felt that I deserved to live or that I was more worthy or special. I am blown away by the intervention of God. I believed that He would heal me and He did.

Recently I shared about my health tests and how I struggled with already having my quota of miracles. It isn’t that I consciously thought that, but God exposed that lie.  One morning words from a song came to mind and I was singing them – “choose to be a blessing for life”. It is from the song “The Blessing” by Troy Denning. I think that this is part of my life’s passion – that I would be a blessing for life. My heart belongs to Jesus. I will speak the words of life. I want to leave behind a legacy of blessing for life. I see now through this episode of unsure health issues that I want to choose to be a blessing for life. I choose life. I don’t want to die. I want to live. It is not selfish or self-seeking to want to live and not die. I desire to continue to be a blessing to others. I am grateful to God for the way He intervenes in my life.

[I wrote the above post in response to the Writers' Nest monthly topic. God had impressed upon me these "Life Lessons", which I have gleaned from my journals kept over the past seven years.]

Wednesday, 19 March 2014

A Sailing Metaphor

At times I could compare my life to sailing. There are times when life is going along smoothly. There are birds in the sky; the sun is shining; there is a gentle breeze. I know the direction in which I am headed and it is mostly effortless. I am propelled by the winds of the Spirit. I might have to make some minor adjustments in my behaviour or attitudes, but mostly I am being carried along; gliding across the water, hardly creating any waves. I am not in a hurry; I am enjoying the journey. I soak up the sun and feel the soft breeze on my cheek. I have to go with the wind. My sails are raised high and they are full of the Spirit.

Some days it is too windy or wavy to sail. Other days the air is so still that I am tempted to wonder, “Where are you God? Don’t you know that I want to sail? I want my sails to be filled with the winds of Your Spirit and not the winds of adversity.” If I attempt to go out on a windy day I will be tossed about by the wind and waves. I will have to strain with all my might to right myself and to keep on course. I don’t want to be dashed on the rocks. Sometimes I need to find a safe bay and shelter there until the storm is past. 

It is hard to wait on God. Once I have experienced the freedom of sailing on open water I feel confined sitting in the harbour. I know that others want to make sure that I am seaworthy. They don’t want me to become a casualty at sea. I need to trust that the Master shipbuilder is in control. He is the Harbour Master.

“So don’t be so surprised when I tell you that you have to be ‘born from above’—out of this world, so to speak. You know well enough how the wind blows this way and that. You hear it rustling through the trees, but you have no idea where it comes from or where it’s headed next. That’s the way it is with everyone ‘born from above’ by the wind of God, the Spirit of God.” John 3:7 (MSG)

“My help and glory are in God —granite-strength and safe-harbor-God— so trust him absolutely, people; lay your lives on the line for him. God is a safe place to be.” Psalm 62:7 (MSG)

Monday, 17 February 2014

Family Day Weekend Snippets

Frequent communication with family members
A desire for diagnosis and proper care for ..
Mother-in-law in hospital
Ice-fishing trip today with father and son, and a friend
Looked after daughter's dog for an afternoon while she visited a friend
Yesterday saw ultrasound pictures of our future grandchild

Dinner celebrating our daughter-in-law's birthday
All my children together
Yet my son-in-law was unable to join us as he had to work
Related Posts with Thumbnails