Saturday, 20 September 2008

The Journey Out Of The Desert

I had written about my desire to be involved with young moms, and my desire to be a part of the Moms to Moms group that was just starting up. I know and desire to uphold the scriptural injunction for older women to teach the younger women to love their husband and children, yet I sensed that was not what God wanted me to be actively involved in at this time.

What I sense in my spirit is that God is leading me out of the desert. I am walking out; it is a journey. During my time in the desert I was "hidden away", but now that that time is over God wants the journey out of the desert to be a shared journey.

Every person's desert has its own individual purpose; that is where God molds and shapes us. The journey out of the desert is where we bring with us all that we have learned and experienced in order to apply it to the new situations we shall face.

God has not forgotten me. He has a plan and a purpose for my life. He is the One who is bringing to light what He wants revealed. My life is in His hands.

Saturday, 6 September 2008

New Things

I have many thoughts swirling around in my head. There were two life-altering events that happened at this time of year; one being when I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. At first, I thought it odd that both of these events happened around my anniversary and my birthday. Anniversaries and birthdays represent new life, while these events were either the death of some things or the potential of death. Maybe the significance of the timing had to do with the birth of a new life; a new way of doing things; a new outlook; and new ventures.

I know that God is leading me, one step at a time. I have had a growing desire to connect with some younger moms. That is why I have chosen to attend the Thursday morning Bible study at The Hub. When I heard about the Moms To Moms program my heart leapt at this "window of opportunity" to be involved with younger moms. I do not know what this will lead to, but I know that God is "doing a new thing" in my life and He is "making a way in the desert".

"See, the former things have taken place, and new things I declare, before they spring into being I announce them to you." Isaiah 42:9 (NIV)

"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up, do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland." Isaiah 43:18,19 (NIV)

Monday, 1 September 2008

Turning Up The Volume

(This is a continuation of my story of finally being correctly diagnosed with ovarian cancer)

The bowel specialist in Orillia stated that the initial results of the CAT scan showed a spot on the liver and a tumour on the ovaries. After talking with the gynecologist on staff, they both felt that I would be better cared for by a local gynecologist since I lived closer to Toronto hospitals. We were given a CD of the results and my husband took it to my family doctor after we returned home. My doctor then obtained the written results the next day, and we met with her the following day (Wednesday) to discuss the findings. By this time I was very uncomfortable and I was having trouble breathing. My husband insisted that something be done for me. My doctor arranged for me to go to Emergency at Southlake and the chief internist would examine me there.

Once in the Emergency room I was given a cardiogram; and they took blood and urine samples. After the specialist examined me and had drained the fluid, he informed me that he was going to admit me to the hospital. He said that they were going to send some of the fluid away for testing and he wanted to do some more tests while we waited for the results. He told me that they were not going to send me home until they not only discovered what was causing this, but also began the appropriate treatment.

There were not any beds available so I slept in the Emergency room on a stretcher. In the morning I was taken for a chest x-ray and another abdominal CAT scan; a more accurate picture of what was going on would be seen since I no longer had all that fluid. The initial findings of the fluid testing showed that it was inflammatory fluid as opposed to being secreted by my liver or any other organ. This information,along with the results of the CAT scan and blood tests, helped to narrow down my diagnosis.

I was visited by a nursing assistant from the oncology department and informed that I did have a tumour on my ovary. She talked in general terms and I did not expect that it would be serious; I thought that it might be only stage I ovarian cancer. I asked her for information regarding ovarian cancer since I had never heard of it before that day.

Later that evening, before my husband returned for a visit, the oncologist came and informed me that I had stage III ovarian cancer and that I would need to have my ovaries removed as well as a hysterectomy. She told me that I needed chemotherapy and that I would lose my hair. The oncologist informed me that I would have an appointment with a gynecol/oncologist at Sunnybrook in Toronto to determine the plan of action regarding the timing of surgery and the chemotherapy treatments. I was transported to and from the appointment at Sunnybrook in an ambulance since I was still a patient at Southlake. My husband and I met with the surgeon on a Wednesday, two weeks after I was first admitted to Southlake, and I began chemotherapy the next day as an inpatient. I was then released from the hospital the next day and I had the remainder of my chemotherapy treatments as an outpatient.
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