Anxious Thoughts

Last night I couldn't sleep. This is what I wrote in my journal at 3:30 am:

I cannot sleep. I am thinking about losing my hair. I know that it will be rather traumatic when it all falls out and I am bald. I will not only lose my hair from my head, but probably every other strand of hair that is on any part of my body, from the top of my head to my feet. The one benefit is that I won't need to shave my legs; armpits; or pluck my eyebrows; or any lone hair that seems to suddenly appear on my chin.

I will be very much like I was when I was born. I was a bald baby and didn't get hair for several months. My children, on the other hand, were all born with hair, some more than others.

What brought on this recent anxiety is that I tried on some wigs yesterday. I wanted to pick out a wig before I lost my hair. Most of the wigs were "pouffy" and I don't wear my natural hair like that. I was getting a bit discouraged, then the salesperson said that there is a wig that is very similar to my hair texture and not "pouffy". It is a "bob" that is parted on the side and the hair is layered. We needed to order this wig and it won't be in until next week. The name of the style is "Peace".

"And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for you Father knows what you need before you ask him". Mtt. 6:5-8 (NIV)