Throughout my treatment I longed to be normal; to hold onto the real life of family commitments and sharing with friends. My activities were limited and scaled back. There were many days that I spent alone, longing for human connection. I think that the days of isolation were my loneliest days; I thrive on meaningful heart-to-heart connections. I did have visits from family and friends interspersed throughout my treatment. It seemed as if everyone's life was more interesting than mine. My world now included doctors, tests and drugs. I could talk about my family's activities, but I had no new or current interest that I was pursuing. It was hard for me to be sick and weak when I was used to being healthy and strong. There were days when I wondered if I would ever regain my strength.
I have been marked by cancer, but I am continuing on. I am pressing on to live a life of meaning, purpose and fulfillment. I recently noticed that the word cancer has the word can hidden in it. I can have a fulfilling life in my new state. I can move on from this place stronger than when I first faced it because God has strengthened me.
"I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything with the help of Christ who gives me the strength I need." Philippians 4:12,13 (NLT)
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